U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
