The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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