Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
