im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
In America we eat man semen.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
