All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
