You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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