hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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