All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Don't make out with my wife yet
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
