Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
