your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize