So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
