She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
