You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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