it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
