Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
