she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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