and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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