ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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