You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
