How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
