You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
