Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
