I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize