I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize