Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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