i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
