this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm too high and old for this...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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