So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
