your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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