i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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