all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
