Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
