I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize