as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
