True but thats because hes a fetus.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
