hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize