***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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