I love black thongs
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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