Yo dont text me then not text me
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
it glows. i had to have it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
