I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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