East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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