omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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