I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
