The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
