Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
