I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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