all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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