I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I need a burrito and a hug.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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