we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
