You can't motorboat a personality
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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