I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
