i don't want you to think of me as your TA
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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