i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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