Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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