if i can run in heels then i can drive
never play flip cup with pint glasses
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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