9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
A bitchslap is in order.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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