u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
