i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
