I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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