I want to stick my p in your. b.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
